


The Sun was Setting

by inaudible_d



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-26 06:26:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2641472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inaudible_d/pseuds/inaudible_d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sho had a blissful life, but fate had something else prepared for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sun was Setting

It was another busy day for Sakurai Sho. He was lucky he got some time to spare for himself before he had to go for another photo shoot this evening. Life as an idol was not easy at all and free time like this one was precious, so he just lazed around at the green room, taking his time as freely as he would like to, just because.

He was reading his book when he felt someone poking him. It was no other than Aiba Masaki with his gleeful smile. Sho had always been wondering how that guy could keep the cheerful face when their day was packed and simply nerve-wracking.

“Ne, Sho chan, you don’t have anything to do after this, right? What about we go somewhere to watch the sunset?” there was yet another weird request from Aiba.

“Hn? I’m going to have a photo shoot this evening, Aiba chan. I don’t think I could go,” Sho turned his attention from his book to the other man.

“Why having a photo shoot at the evening, though? You won’t really look good and fresh as it is in the morning, don’t you think?” Aiba tilted his head a little to the left.

Sho shrugged. “That’s the most my manager could put me up. So...”

“But it’s in the evening right? I guess it would be enough if I kidnap you a while just to watch the sunset. I’ll take you to the set afterward. What about that?” the sparkles in Aiba’s eyes weren’t dimmed even for a second.

Sho smiled. He could never, never, say no to this guy. Not just because he’s his boyfriend, but those sparkling happy attitude is too infectious he could never get enough of that. So he nodded his head before then saying, “let’s go then.”

\---

They sat in an empty field, a small field on somewhere Sho wasn’t really sure. It was nowhere, he supposed, because he had never been here before even though Aiba seemed like he was familiar with the surrounding. Aiba leaned his head on his shoulder while watching the sun setting.

The sky color was a mixture of a lot of orange, red, blue, and gray shades. It was plain beautiful and calming. Sho moved his had to hold Aiba’s, his fingers filled the gaps between Aiba’s in a perfect fit. He smiled and rest his head on top of Aiba’s.

_Maybe this is the real definition of what people say as blissful._

\---

Aiba had made his promise, they were leaving the place not so long after. Their exhaustion and weariness had evaporated as the sun was setting. They chatted happily on their way back, Aiba was driving and Sho was teasing him about their day, the usual silly conversation. They laughed happily, carefree, like they were just normal couple and not some national idols whose lives were always full of pressures of work to do and fans to please.

Everything was just perfect for Sho. Feelings like these ones are what made him able to face his next hours, or even days of work. Aiba’s contagious happiness is like a drug he had been addicted too. It’s not that bad to be addicted, though, since he could always spend his day with his lovely boyfriend anyway. And yes he was thankful for that, of course.

But maybe, just maybe, he shouldn’t have depended that much to Aiba to ease his mind after every long and hard day of work. Because, you know, universe and fate always had their own way of working things out.

Just like today, when suddenly there was a crashing sound from the right side of Aiba’s car. The next thing Sho knew, he felt his head was hit hard to something in front of his face.

\---

Sho was awaken in a hospital room. He looked aside and saw his mother, looking all worried and tired. She was sleeping in a sitting position by the side of the bed, her hands holding his tight. He could feel his head pounding hard but other than that he felt nothing. Looking around, there were no medical equipment whatsoever.

He moved his hand and her mother was awakened by his movement.

“Oh. Sho, you’re up,” she smiled. She seemed relieved.

“Mother. Why am I here? What happened?” Sho asked. He tried to remember what was the last thing he did that he ended up here but he couldn’t because his head was pounding like crazy.

Her mother just gave a sympathetic smile to him and patted the back of his hand.

“Your friends are here, Ohno kun, Nino kun, and Matsumoto kun. I’ll call them. They’re just outside,” she didn’t answer his question and went to the door instead.

Sho was still not able to grasp the situation. So he just sat there blankly, waiting for his mother calling his friends. It didn’t even take a whole minute for his friends to show up and enter the room. They walked slowly then took the chairs and pulled them closer to the side of the bed. Ohno and Nino went to his right side while Jun took the left side.

“Ja, ne, I’ll leave you guys, I have to go home now. Take care of Sho kun, would you?” his mother said before taking her leave, waving her hand to Sho. There was something on her eyes. Something Sho couldn’t really apprehend what. His friends just bowed to his mother's direction before sitting on the chairs.

It was Jun who started the conversation.

“Sho kun, are you okay? What are you feeling?” he asked. His tone sounded a little bit too worried for Sho.

“I’m fine. But my head is pounding like crazy. Where is Aiba, anyway?” he asked, finally managed to pinpoint what was missing.

His friends exchanged glances after they heard his question. The glances were, sad, confused, he wasn’t really sure. The only thing he was sure was that those glances made him feel uncomfortable.

“Sho kun, do you remember why you’re here?” it’s Nino now. He asked carefully, too careful for Nino to do so.

“I... I tried to but my head was pounding too hard I couldn’t...” Sho just had a sudden realization, “I... was with Aiba. I was with him. Where is him?!” his tone was raised.

Ohno then took turn to talk to him. He did so while patting his hand slowly, “Sho kun, calm down first, would you? Do you remember what happened when you were with Aiba before?”

“I... We... were going to my photo shoot after watching sunset... I... there was... something... hit his car... on his side...” Sho’s voice got slower after every word. _No. Don’t you say... Don’t you dare to say..._

“Aiba is... where? He’s fine, right?” Sho’s voice became raspy when he uttered the question. He felt a lump in his throat. _He’s fine, right? But the thing that hit his car hit on his side. So maybe he's injured, worse than I do. But he’s fine, right?._

“Right?” he asked again, started to feel annoyed by the silence his friend were giving and the glances they were exchanging.

“Sho kun,” it was Jun again, “something did hit Aiba’s car on his side. Some stupid, and I bet he was drunk, driver over sped and ignored the traffic lights. His car then hit Aiba’s car. Well, actually, in that speed, it was a miracle that you’re almost uninjured now. But Aiba...” Jun stopped.

“What happened to Aiba?” Sho tried to shout his question but his body was still to weak to do that. It resulted on another desperate, raspy, voice.

“He was,” Nino said slowly, “it was a very quick accident. The people around were already doing their best, calling ambulance that fast, even I wasn’t sure I would be able to do that if I were there,” Nino stopped. He sent a glance to Ohno that he could only read it as ‘help me please I can’t do this’.

Ohno sighed, “Sho kun,” he was holding his hands now. It felt really awkward and he felt something creeping inside him. Something frightening.

“The doctors were able to cure you because you were pretty much uninjured and you were brought here fast. But Aiba... Aiba was...” Ohno took a deep breath, “he was already gone by the time the ambulance came.”

Sho chuckled. _Gone? As if he was running away? That silly guy._

“He was running away? He was more healthy than I am then if he could do that,” he chuckled coldly.

“Sho kun, he... wasn’t running away,” Jun spoke again, “he... he was...”

“Dead,” Nino breathed the word. His eyes were teary, his expression was more hurt than anything else.

Sho still couldn’t believe what he heard. He chuckled again. “You... you guys are kidding right?” he felt a sob was making its way to his throat.

“I... I was with him. He was beside me. I can even still feel his warm hands on me right now,” he chuckled and sobbed.

“You’re kidding... right?” his tears started to fall. One drop, two drops, then suddenly it was a stream of tears.

“Right?” he was crying when he said the word.

His friends didn’t answer him. They moved closer and hugged him tight while also hugging each other. All of them were crying.

\---

It had been three months since Sho found himself awake in an hospital room to a news that his boyfriend was dead. He had been a walking mess since then. He exploded every now and then, throwing his anger of losing his boyfriend to everyone around him. He was back to the emotional Sakurai Sho people once knew he was. He put the blame to everybody, well, everything, around him. Made a little mistake, and he would just snap and leave the workplace.

His friends weren’t able to do anything about that. Not the attention Jun gave, not the jokes Nino made, not the stupid actions Ohno did. Nothing. If so, maybe it was also because all of them were affected badly by that.

Not even Johnny Kitagawa himself could do anything about that. He even gave the boys a whole month free of work to grieve. But it wasn’t enough.

Nothing would ever be enough. Nothing would ever bring back their sunshine. He’s gone, leaving everybody to have to deal with it. Leaving Sho to have to deal with his stressful load from work without being able to cherish every precious happy moment they would usually have.

\---

It was almost a full year when Sho finally started to calm down. Ten months, to be exact. He stopped exploding, he stopped blaming people for their simple mistakes, he stopped being mad for no reason, he stopped leaving the workplace in the middle of working. All the bad habit were already gone again and people around him were relieved that they didn’t have to face the unstable angry Sakurai Sho again.

But something was still off. Other people might not be able to feel that. But Arashi was Arashi for a reason, they had stayed together for so long for a reason, and all of them knew that Sho was still grieving. He stopped being explosive, true, but he also stopped showing emotion. In front of camera, he was still able to show the audience his best working face, as they would call it, but off the camera? He was like a zombie.

His friends knew better to just let him took his time to grieve in his own way. They weren’t trying to force him to meet new people or drink his sadness away. They weren’t trying to give him pep talks. The best they could do were calming him down when he was in the edge of exploding, taking care of him when he was messing up with his life, and cheering him up when they just had a hard day.

One that his best friends didn’t know was that every night Sho had a dream about Aiba. A nightmare on why he couldn’t save him that day. One that will leave him feeling all empty and guilty by the morning. And longing, of course. The dream and the feeling he had after waking up were exactly what turned him to a zombie he was.

\---

But everything had to come to an end anyway. Everybody would have to let go on some point, and Sho wasn’t really a stupid person to keep grieving for a dead boyfriend for more than one full year. It was painful, true, but to keep grieving over it would never bring the person back. To keep regretting over it would never turn the time back. At some point, Sho understood that he had to move on with his life.

So that day, exactly one year since the accident, Sho asked his best friends to come with him to the place of the accident before giving a visit to Aiba’s grave. The visit to the accident place was just a short visit. Sho only came there to put a bouquet of flower on the road where the accident happened. They head to the grave afterward.

It had been a year, but the pain of losing the sunshine of their circle of friends was still fresh. They couldn't hold themselves from crying in front of Aiba’s grave. Jun was the first to cry, his sobs were a little bit too loud, followed by Nino, then Ohno. While Sho was just standing there with a blank expression. His eyes were teary, but that’s all.

He took a deep breath before began talking.

“Masaki. Hey. I miss you. We miss you. Wait for us there, will you? I bet you’ll be already having fun with the new things you find there. Well, have fun, do everything you want, and give us a big welcome later when we’re coming, what about that?” Sho chuckled.

“I... Let me grieve for some more time, yeah? I know you wouldn’t like it. I know if you were here you would just slap me on the back of my head saying ‘don’t be too sentimental’ while it’s you who’s the most sentimental between us,” his voice cracked. He cleared his throat before he continued.

“Masaki. Let me, let me keep you forever in my heart, yeah? Let me have you a special place here. I’ll label it ‘sunshine’ and I won’t let anyone touch it,” his voice cracked again, this time a sob was making its way. Ohno patted his back.

“I’ll... Maybe I’ll meet someone else... But please don’t... don’t be jealous, yeah? Because you’ll always have that special place in my heart. Actually, I don’t want to move on, Masaki. I want to just keep loving you, keep our dream of growing old together,” he was sobbing while saying that.

“But I know you won’t like that. So I won’t do it. I won’t grow old being an old grumpy lonely person. Even though I’d prefer that than living with someone else but you,”

“And about these guys... I’ll take care of them. I’ll keep taking care about them like how I have always done. I’ll make sure when one of us leave like you did, we will be more ready than when we lost you. We... I still feel like we don’t have enough memories with you and I regret that the most,” Sho wasn’t holding back anymore. He said that while crying his heart out loud.

The other three moved closer to Sho and hugged him. They were drowning each other in their embraces, doing their best to console each other.

“I... I love you, Masaki. We love you, sunshine. Keep shining for us, yeah?” was the last sentence Sho managed to utter before he was drowned in his own tears and sobs.


End file.
